Sometimes

Sometimes I just want to cut myself open and drain out everything so I can start fresh. I want to drain out the nagging insecurities, the restlessness, the questions, the doubts, the worries and be blank. Maybe the way a child is. I tried to do this tonight. Not actually but metaphorically. I cleaned out some of my room, rearranged a few things and got rid of a lot of crap. I feel calmer now. I like looking at a corner of my house and seeing just the wall, not a pile of crap, not anything, just space. It sets me free in some small way. At least for the little while afterwards.