I Think a Change Would Do Me Good

I did my first full overnight last night. It actually wasn't that bad until around 6 am, that's when I started feeling extremely tired.

We are going to apply for a new apartment today. It seems pretty nice, pool, spa, racket ball court( which is awesome cuz' right now we pay six dollars a game to play) I am extremely nervous though. I have bad credit because of an apartment I broke the lease early on when I was 18. I've paid it all off and learned my lesson, so I really hope this doesn't follow me around to new-found adult life.

I was talking to this girl at work last night and she said something about how for a while she could tell something was up, that I wasn't really happy. I felt horrible that someone else was able to tell, (then again, I am in the business of monitoring people's behaviors) that I let all the shit going on come to work with me, or that people could tell I just wasn't happy there. I want to be a positive person. I like being happy at work, I don't like being a downer just cuz' I have to work full time like everyone else. She said not to worry about it, that everyone goes through it, gets stuck in a rut.

I've been feeling better the last couple of weeks so hopefully this will show too. I think this whole move is exactly what I needed. I need a fresh start, some perspective and an apartment where I can actually use the pool! Right now we don't have a key to the pool where we're living. My drive to work will now be 10-15 minutes instead of 25-40. I won't have to pay tolls, will spend less on gas and will be closer to the city where there's more going on.

I'm human, I got in a rut, I felt lost, trapped and depressed. It happens right? I'm working on stepping out though, changing what I need to change, readjusting things so my mental health is brighter. At least I'm trying right? I'm not giving in to the depression like I once did.