What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
*got a huge tattoo on my chest
*started graduate school
*sold zines in a local shop..actually made 5 dollars!
*started shooting archery
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
my only resolution was to be happier and healthier and i think i accomplished that.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yes, a good friend from work.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
no, thank god.
5. What countries did you visit?
none :(
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a more positive outlook toward my job, more confidence in my abilities.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
ehh don't remember specific dates, more like specific times.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
completing three semesters of graduate school. selling my zines for money. realizing i am turning into a really happy person.
9. What was your biggest failure?
i broke a lot of shit. a couple of cell phones and a computer, accidentally. other than that, just all the moments of self-doubt.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
started having a re-flare up of some pain from a tumor in my jaw..docs say there is nothing they could do though..hanging by the moment on that one.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
cute clothes at the thrift store & bus/plane tickets to various places.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my boyfriend who had a great year and made much better choices.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
co-workers who overreact, my sister who constantly lets me down.
14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, bills, and having fun.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
going to bonnarro this summer. getting my tattoo, starting grad school and realizing what i'm doing is my true passion.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
i started listening to more pop music this year so any of those poppy cheezy girl songs
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner.
c) richer or poorer? poorer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
believing in myself.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
drinking...well not really haha. bitching about work.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
already spent it. at my mom's house. got really drunk and overall had a great time.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
fall in love more with my boyfriend/soulmate each day.
22. How many one-night stands?
none.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
currently felicity.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
i don't hate anyone.
25. What was the best book you read?
the twilight saga haha.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ehh i have a hard time finding new music i like..i got more into the yeah yeah yeah's and the dead weather came out.
27. What did you want and get?
to go to grad school.
28. What did you want and not get?
unequivocal self-confidence.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 23, i went shopping and out to dinner with my boyfriend. we made amends after a rough patch.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
nothing really..it was a pretty great y ear.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
evolving..more put together, yet more punky.
33. What kept you sane?
working out, journaling, self-reflection.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
abortion debate, health care, economic issues.
36. Who did you miss?
the carefree feelings of the past
37. Who was the best new person you met?
i met a couple of people in my program at school i got to know really well. it's really nice to have people to talk to in class.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
It's so weird the dichotomy that exists between a paper and online journal. In so many ways an online blog is written with the consciousness that other people will be reading it, with that being there it can never be entirely real can it? A spiral notebook journal on the other hand is usually written with no intentions of anyone ever reading it except the writer which then allows it to be a place a person can be completely real and an avenue to channeling truth.
I wonder how many people who write an online blog like this also keep a paper journal?
On another note, I was going to order checks today but didn't want to have to reorder them in a month with my new address on it...
I also applied for a credit card today. It's weird how much part of me likes doing shit like that. Ordering checks, paying bills, applying for credit. It all makes me feel so grown up and independent. Maybe that's what it is. It makes me feel independent. Like I can be successful on my own. I can do what I need to do to survive. I can do it all myself. I can be strong and reliable without someone telling me what to do. Maybe that's what I like about paying bills every month, the freedom that comes with being independent. At least there's a silver lining to giving away half my income every month to bills...
I talked to this girl the other day who told me that her dad stills pays her car insurance every month. (She is 28). In a way that's awesome that she has such a supportive and caring father, but at the same time it sucks because she is not completely independent at 28, she's still getting help from her parents.
My parents never had a dime to give me. They lived paycheck to paycheck and still do. They gave my siblings and I whatever they could and their struggles taught me lessons. They taught me to get out there and do what I could to make it. I started babysitting at 12 and was earning 20 dollars every week until age 15 when I started babysitting for a family and earning 100 every week. I got my first real job as a server at 18 and never looked back. I've been working my ass off ever since. Working hard is just that-hard work, but the payoffs are amazing. Something to remember when I'm walking into work tomorrow...
I wonder how many people who write an online blog like this also keep a paper journal?
On another note, I was going to order checks today but didn't want to have to reorder them in a month with my new address on it...
I also applied for a credit card today. It's weird how much part of me likes doing shit like that. Ordering checks, paying bills, applying for credit. It all makes me feel so grown up and independent. Maybe that's what it is. It makes me feel independent. Like I can be successful on my own. I can do what I need to do to survive. I can do it all myself. I can be strong and reliable without someone telling me what to do. Maybe that's what I like about paying bills every month, the freedom that comes with being independent. At least there's a silver lining to giving away half my income every month to bills...
I talked to this girl the other day who told me that her dad stills pays her car insurance every month. (She is 28). In a way that's awesome that she has such a supportive and caring father, but at the same time it sucks because she is not completely independent at 28, she's still getting help from her parents.
My parents never had a dime to give me. They lived paycheck to paycheck and still do. They gave my siblings and I whatever they could and their struggles taught me lessons. They taught me to get out there and do what I could to make it. I started babysitting at 12 and was earning 20 dollars every week until age 15 when I started babysitting for a family and earning 100 every week. I got my first real job as a server at 18 and never looked back. I've been working my ass off ever since. Working hard is just that-hard work, but the payoffs are amazing. Something to remember when I'm walking into work tomorrow...
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Adaptation
I think one of the secrets to becoming successful is being able to adapt to change. If we are able to adapt to new situations quickly we will ultimately survive and learn to thrive sooner in our new surrounding than if we fought the change. Think about it: When faced with a challenge, the sooner we embrace it and modify our behavior accordingly, the sooner we can conquer the battle, or at least go at it our strongest.
Last week was my first Saturday working overnight (until 7:30 in the morning) the next day I felt wrecked, physically I felt extremely tired and I felt mentally week. I only slept four hours and felt nauseous all day. Last night was my second Saturday working overnight. Today I pushed myself to sleep longer, then wake up and go work out.
When I came home from working out my brother (who is also my roommate) was questioning me like didn't you work last night? And I said yeah, but I'm trying to adapt to my new situation. I don't want to be a slug all of Sunday just because I work Saturday night. So I'm adapting quickly, in order to make the most out of my new schedule.
On another note, I'm going to the see Sex and The City movie tonight! I'm a little bummed out I am not going with a girl friend or sister/mom like most of the women I know, but at the same time I do get to go with my best friend/boyfriend and be one of the few ladies that is going to see the movie with a guy.
Will try to post an analysis of the movie after I see it...I've read so much different stuff already on the debate whether the series does justice for feminism/women or whether it hinders our progress.
Oh and we got the apartment!! We're moving into our new place the 28th of June!! I am so freaking excited. This is exactly what I need!!
Last week was my first Saturday working overnight (until 7:30 in the morning) the next day I felt wrecked, physically I felt extremely tired and I felt mentally week. I only slept four hours and felt nauseous all day. Last night was my second Saturday working overnight. Today I pushed myself to sleep longer, then wake up and go work out.
When I came home from working out my brother (who is also my roommate) was questioning me like didn't you work last night? And I said yeah, but I'm trying to adapt to my new situation. I don't want to be a slug all of Sunday just because I work Saturday night. So I'm adapting quickly, in order to make the most out of my new schedule.
On another note, I'm going to the see Sex and The City movie tonight! I'm a little bummed out I am not going with a girl friend or sister/mom like most of the women I know, but at the same time I do get to go with my best friend/boyfriend and be one of the few ladies that is going to see the movie with a guy.
Will try to post an analysis of the movie after I see it...I've read so much different stuff already on the debate whether the series does justice for feminism/women or whether it hinders our progress.
Oh and we got the apartment!! We're moving into our new place the 28th of June!! I am so freaking excited. This is exactly what I need!!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Being Real
I was talking to my brother tonight and he said something really cool. He said something about how I have managed to stay true to myself despite living a functional life in mainstream society. I honestly think I have been able to do this and feel happy/proud of the fact that I have been able to be true to myself while living a regular, functional life in society.
I have a forty hour a week job, that I go to every day, do my best at and work hard at, but when I go home I am still me, a girl that writes a zine and loves independent media. I work forty hours a week, pay my car insurance/rent and the like, yet I still maintain my core values of kindness, self-respect, and open-mindedness.
I'm not the same naive girl I was at 18, the girl that saw going on a road trip as her only future. I am a girl/woman that pays bills, files taxes, works full-time, yet I have managed to still be me and not compromise myself. I think this is the ultimate goal of life, to be yourself while still doing what you have to do to get by. Yes, I put on a collard shirt and go to work every day, but I also manage to still be myself and do what I love.
Once someone told me that they thought I was really real. This is one of the best compliments I have ever received. I love being real. I love being myself despite all the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis, despite how much I have to turn and face mainstream society on a daily basis.
Underneath it all, I'm still me. Yeah, I may not be running away on a road trip like I once dreamed, but I am still loving life, trying my best and staying true to the originality of who I am. I'm still watching coming of age stories, shopping at thrift stores and reading independent media and listening to powerful music. I'm still making collages and taking photos. I have my good days and my bad days and I try to remember to embrace both.
Oh yeah, I called the apartments today. They said we passed the credit check we're just waiting for our income verification forms! Whooo we are almost there!
I have a forty hour a week job, that I go to every day, do my best at and work hard at, but when I go home I am still me, a girl that writes a zine and loves independent media. I work forty hours a week, pay my car insurance/rent and the like, yet I still maintain my core values of kindness, self-respect, and open-mindedness.
I'm not the same naive girl I was at 18, the girl that saw going on a road trip as her only future. I am a girl/woman that pays bills, files taxes, works full-time, yet I have managed to still be me and not compromise myself. I think this is the ultimate goal of life, to be yourself while still doing what you have to do to get by. Yes, I put on a collard shirt and go to work every day, but I also manage to still be myself and do what I love.
Once someone told me that they thought I was really real. This is one of the best compliments I have ever received. I love being real. I love being myself despite all the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis, despite how much I have to turn and face mainstream society on a daily basis.
Underneath it all, I'm still me. Yeah, I may not be running away on a road trip like I once dreamed, but I am still loving life, trying my best and staying true to the originality of who I am. I'm still watching coming of age stories, shopping at thrift stores and reading independent media and listening to powerful music. I'm still making collages and taking photos. I have my good days and my bad days and I try to remember to embrace both.
Oh yeah, I called the apartments today. They said we passed the credit check we're just waiting for our income verification forms! Whooo we are almost there!
Back and Forth Through My Mind
I bruised my finger last night while I was drunk. I slammed it in the car door on accident. Now I feel so incredibly stupid. The entire nail is blue and the pain is (still) throbbing. I couldn't sleep until like 3 am last night because of it. I didn't feel like getting up and going to the gym this morning because it was still hurting.I feel like such a moron that 1. I did it to myself and 2. I did it while intoxicated. I feel like a sloppy drunk which I'm really not.
I've been laying around all morning because of the pain :( Now I feel lazy because I just lied around all last night and today (until now 1:30 pm).
I do think maybe I am being too hard on myself. Yeah I made a stupid mistake, big deal. I also feel bad because now I'm not utilizing my days off in a more constructive manner. I have three days off now..am I asking too much of myself to be super busy and productive each one of them? Isn't there something to be said for a lazy day?
This is the constant back and forth battle of my head. The constant drama and anxiety I feel over my decisions/actions. Should I, Shouldn't I? Which is the best course of action? Is it okay? Am I doing the right thing?
Does feel good to write it/analyze it out. Kind of makes me see how silly I am being. How I should just be rather than fight myself all the time.
Here's a very interesting PostSecret I saw today:
Won't go into too much self-disclosure as this blog is public, but nevertheless it made me smile.
I'm still waiting to hear back on the apartment...this is also (of course) putting me on edge.
Ahhh the anxiety. At least getting it all out and admitting my neurosis helps some :)
I've been laying around all morning because of the pain :( Now I feel lazy because I just lied around all last night and today (until now 1:30 pm).
I do think maybe I am being too hard on myself. Yeah I made a stupid mistake, big deal. I also feel bad because now I'm not utilizing my days off in a more constructive manner. I have three days off now..am I asking too much of myself to be super busy and productive each one of them? Isn't there something to be said for a lazy day?
This is the constant back and forth battle of my head. The constant drama and anxiety I feel over my decisions/actions. Should I, Shouldn't I? Which is the best course of action? Is it okay? Am I doing the right thing?
Does feel good to write it/analyze it out. Kind of makes me see how silly I am being. How I should just be rather than fight myself all the time.
Here's a very interesting PostSecret I saw today:
Won't go into too much self-disclosure as this blog is public, but nevertheless it made me smile.
I'm still waiting to hear back on the apartment...this is also (of course) putting me on edge.
Ahhh the anxiety. At least getting it all out and admitting my neurosis helps some :)
Sunday, May 25, 2008
All I Can Say is Wow
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=7971139
Watch the above clip. A girl is banned from playing basketball with boys because she is "too good." Fucking amazing that there is STILL so much sexism in our society.
Watch the above clip. A girl is banned from playing basketball with boys because she is "too good." Fucking amazing that there is STILL so much sexism in our society.
Sunday Happenings
So we applied for the apartment. Wish me luck on getting it. My brother has good credit so hopefully he will be our doorway in. It's on a corner and has a "courtyard" view for no extra charge. It's weird living with my brother. In so many ways I don't want to, but in so many ways I do.
It's weird living with any sibling I guess because they share that one thing with you that you just can't explain to other people, the same parents. I loveeee living with another person though, because it cuts the costs down so much. Yeah, it can be very annoying at times, but overall I will take the annoyance of another person for the cheaper rent.
So yayy for roommates and for memorial day sales at thrift stores! Whoo! tomorrow is going to be a good day!
It's weird living with any sibling I guess because they share that one thing with you that you just can't explain to other people, the same parents. I loveeee living with another person though, because it cuts the costs down so much. Yeah, it can be very annoying at times, but overall I will take the annoyance of another person for the cheaper rent.
So yayy for roommates and for memorial day sales at thrift stores! Whoo! tomorrow is going to be a good day!
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