Back and Forth Through My Mind

I bruised my finger last night while I was drunk. I slammed it in the car door on accident. Now I feel so incredibly stupid. The entire nail is blue and the pain is (still) throbbing. I couldn't sleep until like 3 am last night because of it. I didn't feel like getting up and going to the gym this morning because it was still hurting.I feel like such a moron that 1. I did it to myself and 2. I did it while intoxicated. I feel like a sloppy drunk which I'm really not.

I've been laying around all morning because of the pain :( Now I feel lazy because I just lied around all last night and today (until now 1:30 pm).

I do think maybe I am being too hard on myself. Yeah I made a stupid mistake, big deal. I also feel bad because now I'm not utilizing my days off in a more constructive manner. I have three days off now..am I asking too much of myself to be super busy and productive each one of them? Isn't there something to be said for a lazy day?

This is the constant back and forth battle of my head. The constant drama and anxiety I feel over my decisions/actions. Should I, Shouldn't I? Which is the best course of action? Is it okay? Am I doing the right thing?

Does feel good to write it/analyze it out. Kind of makes me see how silly I am being. How I should just be rather than fight myself all the time.

Here's a very interesting PostSecret I saw today:


Won't go into too much self-disclosure as this blog is public, but nevertheless it made me smile.

I'm still waiting to hear back on the apartment...this is also (of course) putting me on edge.

Ahhh the anxiety. At least getting it all out and admitting my neurosis helps some :)